Jim Rohn wisely said “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
It explains a lot – why I’m always talking about the news (husband), immediately try to visualize the chemical structure of, well, anything (my father), why I’ve become significantly more patient and calm (Naleeni, our nanny), and why I’m usually singing a Disney song without realizing it (Rho).
I don’t spend as much time with Keren as I would like to (given that she’s usually too busy jetting around the world or running one of her many businesses). But every second I spend with her makes me a better person.
My Best Advice is a series I’ve had brewing in my head for some time, to share the wisdom of my incredible friends with all of you. What Keren is about to share is something that has made a huge impact in my life, which I’ll go into greater detail below. Take it away, Keren!
Hitha asked me to give you my number one exercise towards getting the results YOU want.
Do you want to go for something big in your life? Something youâ€™ve never been, done, or had ever before? Maybe something that you didnâ€™t think was possible? Well, Iâ€™m here to tell you that it is 100% possible, and within your capability. All you need to do is start with these three easy steps, to hit the momentum that just might change your life.
Step 1: Â Decide that you’re going to go for it
Donâ€™t just hope to lose weight, to start that business, to get Â that big job, to date that person, to have a baby, or to grow your own tomatoes. DO IT. Make a massive decision â€“ and COMMIT to it. Let me illustrate:
There is a huge difference between ripping a diet out of Us Weekly and following it for a week, than it is to decide to get in shape â€“ not just for one little vacation or party â€“ but for life. Making the decision to become healthier and stronger takes work – like reading books about nutrition and exercise, signing up for a gym or ClassPass, getting a trainer, committing to a fitness routine that you truly enjoy, STUDYING people who are strong and healthy, Â talking about your new life habits with no shame, relishing in healthy meals, buying clothing that makes you feel amazing – right now, start cutting down on the foods that don’t fit in your new lifestyle, and so on and so forth.
It may also involve posting a picture of Jennifer Lopez on your fridge. Whatever works.
In committing to being a strong person for life, you engage so fully that you attain it in your consciousness. Committing to a decision is to make it a non-negotiable, making it your new standard. If there is one thing I know â€“ itâ€™s that we always get our standards. So if you know what you want to accomplish, and it is a must for you â€“ and you know why you want it â€“ thatâ€™s half the battle.
Got it? Awesome.
Step 2: Break it down
OK. So letâ€™s say you are truly clear about what you want. Wanting it wonâ€™t get you there. You are going to have to take massive, strategic action. And the way to do this is to plan.
Planning is easy, if you use this trick Iâ€™ve adapted from one of my own gurus Marie Forleo. Marie has said that once she decides to do something, she makes herself sit down and write a Magic Twenty.
The Magic Twenty is really magic, really twenty â€“ and really simple. Simply put, it is the act of sitting down to write TWENTY ideas on how to get that thing you have decided to go for. The one rule? It MUST be twenty items. I know this sounds like a lot, but you can do it. And that is EXACTLY what it is going to take. No less. Write actions you can take, and also â€“ ways in which you can already start to embody your goal â€“ right NOW.
For example, if youâ€™re after significant weight loss, you can write:
- â€œRead books and articles, and watch YouTube videos about health and fitnessâ€œ
- â€œJoin a great workout class or gym and schedule 4 workouts per weekâ€
- â€œFollow inspiring people on social media – and stop following those who make me feel negatively about myselfâ€
- â€œHire a nutrition coachâ€
- â€œSubscribe to a healthy meal kit or delivery serviceâ€
But also write things like:
- â€œBuy a new swimsuit that makes me feel great, and start wearing it â€“ even at homeâ€
- â€œSurround myself with people who inspire me and who will help my goalâ€
- â€œGet a workout buddy who will support me in sticking to my workout schedule, and make it more funâ€
You get the idea, right? No idea is bad. All ideas will get you closer to living your goal.
Step 3: Believe in yourself.
And just watch. Little by little, the heavens will open.
It sounds so simple, right? Just write 20 things to make your dream a reality, and do it.
It is that simple. It’s also deceptively difficult.
Writing the first five items is easy. The next 5 are a little bit harder.
The last 10 take up most of the time.
I write my twenty items in a Google Keep note, and typically work from 2-3 Magic Twenty lists at a time. The first hour of my day is blocked off as Magic 20 time, and it’s (usually) non-negotiable. I’ve been enabling Inbox Pause on my e-mail accounts every evening, and (try to) power through my Magic Twenty items and my big project of the day – writing, editing, or putting together decks for upcoming projects.
My work day structure is another post for another day, but I will confirm that scheduling time to work through your Magic Twenty every day is what makes it a reality. Chances are you’ll create another Magic Twenty for the same goal, and that’s okay. Working at something, every day, is how you achieve your goals.
Something else I’m doing is Keren’s flagship coaching program, Live With Enthusiasm. In a word, it’s outstanding. If you want to drastically change your life, it’s worth purchasing (and working through every damn day). You can find more information here, and sign up here.
From the editor…
Iâ€™ve received several emails and comments on the weight loss message of the post, and it not being aligned with the content that Iâ€™ve previously published on the website.
I want to thank everyone who did message or comment – I truly appreciate your readership and support of this space, and Iâ€™m open to all feedback – positive and constructive.
I did not have the same reaction to the weight loss message as many of you did, nor did I pick up on some of the examples as offensive (hanging out with thin friends, for example) prior to publishing. After reading your comments and reading the post more carefully, I do see what turned you off to the post.
I stand by Kerenâ€™s overall message and goal, but have edited the post so Kerenâ€™s example is more focused on strength and a healthy lifestyle, and less about being thin.
If you ever have feedback – good, bad, or ugly – Iâ€™m always open to hearing it and incorporating it if itâ€™s constructive. Iâ€™m truly grateful for the opportunity to pop into your inbox weekly and your Feedly and Bloglovinâ€™ accounts daily – and I donâ€™t take it for granted.